The Five Love Languages

  • March 03, 2016 | Rob Macaulay - Headmaster

One of the presentations that our staff enjoyed at the beginning of the year was on “The Five Love Languages.”  This concept, which was introduced by Gary Chapman as far back as the 1990’s, still has relevance for both teachers and parents today.  The basic idea is that different people value different expressions of affirmation and love and that by identifying a particular individual’s love language, we are able to support them in a way that is particularly meaningful to them.  While everyone does need each of the forms of appreciation, our tendency is to react most favourably to one or two of the Love Languages.

The Five Languages are:

Physical Touch:  A hug, pat on the back, high-five, etc.
Words of Affirmation:  Well done my boy, I can see that you have really tried hard!
Quality Time:  An hour of garden soccer with the family is better than a trip to the movies with his friends.
Gifts:  The little chocolate bar to say, “I am proud of what you have achieved” or “I love you.”
Acts of Service:  Helping your son to complete his model or school assignment is seen by some children as the most important way that you can express your love.


There is a lot of information available on The Five Love Languages.  Age appropriate books for children, teenagers, adults and even one for the expression of appreciation in the workplace can be purchased. While I am not advocating that finding out which love language our children, spouses and colleagues prefer, will solve all problems, expressing our love and support in a language that the child understands and appreciates most will go a long way towards building confidence and a positive attitude as they go out and face each day.  If you are interested in finding out more about the Five Love Languages, either Google the topic or follow this link: